Stop Letting Others Violate Your Boundaries

Completely drained and in tears, I realized I had been doing a terrible job setting boundaries. My time was no longer my own because every time someone needed me I said, “Yes”. It wasn’t that people intentionally violated my boundaries, it was that I was teaching them do it, allowing them to do it.  I

The BEST Thing I Learned in Grad School

Grad school was no picnic for me. Not only was I required to conduct research and write a 63-page thesis (not including the appendices and references), I had to pass a 4+ hour comprehensive exam that required citing sources. It was A LOT of work AND totally WORTH IT!  Years later I still find myself

Talk More – This Message is Not Just for Introverts

Last week I wrote about how to vocalize LESS often, and I had a lingering feeling that I needed to address the reverse: vocalizing MORE often.  WARNING–jumping to the conclusion that this lesson is only for people who need to speak up more (a.k.a. the introvert) is inaccurate. Even the frequently vocal persons out there

LEARNING FROM GIRAFFES: Vision (and mission) (Part 3 of 5)

Giraffes can see close, far, and wide thanks to their large, bulging eyes. Their amazing eyesight allows them to see what is in front of them AND what is in the distance and around them. (Did you know giraffes can see their feet when they look straight ahead?) Imagine having giraffe-like vision in your personal

BECOME A BETTER COWORKER: Define and Communicate Boundaries (Part 4 of 4)

What boundaries are we taught to respect throughout our lives?  A quick brainstorm produced this list: Drive on this side of the dotted line. Obey the speed limit. Stay in your yard. Listen to your parents. Don’t swear at work. Don’t take what isn’t yours. Do what you were hired to do. and right now,

BECOME A BETTER COWORKER: Don’t Be Annoying (Part 3 of 4)

Let’s call her Lucy.  She walked around work like she was everyone’s best friend. She took every opportunity to publicly let others know how exceptional she was at her job. She presented herself as the most creative, most productive, most energetic person in the office. She answered her phone, “It’s a great day in [insert

  • Photo credit: Tsahi Levent-Levi

The Importance of Asking Questions: Show Interest (Part 6 of 6)

As the last article in this series of The Importance of Asking Questions, I want to get back to basics. The basics of healthy, helpful conversation. I have become acutely aware of the number of conversations I have that are one-way conversations. The type of conversation that are primarily about the other person. The kind

The Importance of Asking Questions: Empowering Questions (Part 5 of 6)

Without knowing it, we disempower ourselves by placing limitations on our thinking. Our thinking reflects what we know AND what we don’t know.  Inherently, our thinking is then limited.  Imagine it like this.  You are on a scenic drive through the mountains and everything you can see is directly in front of you. You see

THE HUNGRY BRAIN OF THE EXTROVERT

Two weeks ago I wrote about how to communicate better with introverts.  Now it’s time to give the extroverts the love and the attention they desire … because extroverts have communication needs too. Take a look at these descriptions: Attention seeking Easily distracted Noisy Exhausting Talks too much Impulsive Sociable Outgoing Friendly Enthusiastic Life of

  • showing two people who are trying to understand each other

A CALL FOR MORE EMPATHY

Communication is extremely difficult right now. Honestly, the word difficult fails to capture the charged emotions being expressed following the murder* of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer. I am seeing, hearing, and experiencing interaction after interaction filled with blame, finger-pointing, name calling, accusations, and assumptions. There are people who want to be heard. They