Are you listening to understand or reply?

Listening Skills: understanding or replying?  Which is better? https://youtu.be/im1i6Q31Wtg Many of us were taught the importance of paraphrasing.  You know, put someone’s words into your words and repeat it back to them.  The problem with this technique is that we end up doing what I call PARROTphrasing.  We squawk someone’s words back to them