You may not mean to communicate lies, but are you doing it by accident?

Our communication gives all sorts of clues.  Think about when you couldn’t pinpoint what it was about someone that made you like them, made you feel uneasy around them, or simply didn’t really trust what they were saying.

Don’t miscommunicate what you want to say by sending mixed messages.  If you want to truly express sincerity in your communication make sure you are doing the following:

  • PALMS UP. Keep your fingers close to each other with your palms up and you will communicate you are open and honest. If you spread your fingers you communicate I need something so keep those fingers closed.
  • FROM THE HEART. Credit for this goes to Don Khoury. To understand what this means, click on this link Non-Verbal Leadership Communication in Business and fast forward the video to the 12:43 mark.
  • ARMS OPEN. When your arms are open, you are perceived as not hiding anything. Of course, the opposite (arms crossed in front of you) does not necessarily mean you are closed; however, it is often perceived as such.
  • JACKET OPEN. Unbutton those buttons and loosen up. A buttoned-up jacket closes communication off as it is similar to having crossed arms.
  • EYE CONTACT. Not just any kind of eye contact – the right amount of eye contact. Eye contact that is too strong can communicate I’m trying to show you who is in control.  Eye contact that is too weak can communicate I don’t believe what I am saying either.  Use the amount of eye contact that is appropriate for the situation.
  • HEAD NOD. A little head movement can communicate I am listening or I understand. Don’t be Lies bobble head though … you will lose the helpful effect of the head nod. And of course, make sure you really listening.
  • HEAD TILT. If you want to communicate interest, use the head tilt with relaxed facial expressions.
  • DETAILED STORY. Liars leave out details in fear of forgetting what they said. Tell your stories with the who, what, when, where, why, and how.  Not only will it communicate your sincerity, it can hold attention (if it isn’t TOO detailed).
  • DON’T TOUCH YOUR NOSE. What? I know it sounds strange and according to research it is true!  “Nose touching is a sign of fibbing, according to Dr. Alan Hirsch of The Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. This is because certain tissues in the nose usually engorge when a person is telling a lie, releasing histamine and making the nose itch.” Who knew?!? (cited from book Detect Deceit)

Now you know how to not be a liar and you can communicate what you want to actually communicate.