Are you ghosting a coworker?

Let’s talk about this thing called “ghosting”.  (Thank you to my niece Jessi by the way for the idea this week.)  Have you heard of it?  If you haven’t heard of ghosting, let me explain.  Ghosting is when two people are dating and suddenly one of them ends all communication without explanation. Poof!  They disappear!  It would be annoying, right? So, what does ghosting have to do with work?

Aaaaah.  Important question.  Sometimes, when we feel tension with a coworker we stop communicating and essentially disappear.  This my dear viewers is not the recommended approach.  Maybe we do it out of fear of conflict, feeling like we don’t have power, a lack of confidence, or plain ole’ poor workplace communication habits.

Here are some tips to help you:

  1. Separate the emotion from the issue (or what you perceive to be the issue).  When we do this we are better able to tap into the rational part of our brain and see things as they truly are.
  2. Don’t assume (see episode 18 to find out what I mean).
  3. Tap into a little courage, because conflict is an opportunity for conversation.  This might take a little encouraging self-talk, a calming of negativity, or a step outside of your comfort zone, but you can do it!
  4. Have good intentions with a goal of understanding.  Your coworkers are intuitive and they will be more open if they detect good intentions.  Also, if your goal is win/lose or right/wrong, you are both likely to end up on the short end of the stick per se.
  5. Initiate the conversation. Invite them to talk and if it is really a sticky issue, choose a neutral location or one in which they feel some personal power.

So going forth, remember, ghosting a coworker is not recommended.