Oh, conflict and control. What a task to successfully navigate controlling behavior!

Conflict and controlThe good news is, it can be done!  With the help from this book, “Dealing with People You Can’t Stand,” by Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner, you can hone your skills when working with someone who appears to be controlling.  Brinkman and Kirschner offer tools to bring out the best in people at their worst.  They explain, “conflict occurs when the emphasis in a relationship is on the differences between people.” (p. 42)

Last week, my tip was, “Remember where difficult behavior comes from.”  It’s as simple as: using a behavior to fulfill an intent.  You may think they are trying to drive you crazy, but rest assured, they are just trying to protect or preserve something they think, believe, or feel.

This week were going to talk about the person whose intent is to A) get things DONE because B) they need some CONTROL .  In other words, what to do when conflict and control and in play.  There are three types of behaviors in this intent.  I’ll describe them and give you a tip to deal with them better!

A TANK who is direct, loud, and forceful.  Hold your ground, but not in a way that is challenging. Do it in a way that shows strength and confidence.

A SNIPER who comments rudely, undermines, and uses sarcasm.  Interrupt yourself so you can be fully aware of what is underneath the sniping.  Once you do that, backtrack to what they said.

And a KNOW-IT-ALL who is outspoken, domineering, and even manipulative.  Do your homework.  Be prepared. Know your stuff.

Now, go out there and practice the tips when you find you are in a situation of conflict and control with a person who wants to get things done.

Jeannette Grace – Your Communication Expert!