Conflict and Perfection: what’s it all about? It’s certainly not about the hokey pokey!
Welcome back to our final week on conflict using this book …. We end the series with the person whose intent is to get it right because they need perfection. For these people it is easy to be thrown off when things appear chaotic, disorganized, premature, rushed, etc. and they deal with the stress by trying to ensuring accuracy.
A NO person squashes hope and creative sparks … not intentionally though. They really believe nothing can be done. Their negativity is filtered through a lens of discouragement. Move away from finding fault and move toward compassionate and patient behavior. This will give you a new perspective needed to then move toward problem solving.
A WHINER wallows in their worries and are feel helpless. (Note, there are Whiners who are actually helpful. They are people who are not only bring problems up, they also offer solutions. And there are people who “whine” to vent, and then they move on.) For the Whiners who wallow, don’t agree or disagree with then, instead, have patience and compassion. Seek to form a bond with them focused on finding a solution.
A JUDGE sets impossible standards and revels in criticizing others because they really believe their perspective is the right perspective. It can be difficult to not feel condemned, so offer yourself a kind word or two and believe you don’t have anything to defend. This will keep you in a positive space that gives you power to let the criticism roll off you like water on a duck.
A NOTHING person is frustrated and withdraws as they believe no one cares about avoiding mistakes as much as they do. Inside they may be feeling hopeless and want to throw their arms in the air in defeat. Manage the conflict more effectively by being calm, relaxed, and asking questions that can’t be answered with just a yes or no, or with a empty grunt. Doing this will lower the stress they feel.
Congratulations! You now have some tools to help you manage conflict more successfully with those people who want to get it right and need perfection! I did my part … now it’s your turn to do your part and use the tools.
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